"Build a man a fire, he's warm for a day/night... Light a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life..." Burn baby burn...
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
I lied....
In the post titled By God, I said I was saving myself for marriage but, I did not!!!! Last year when my boyfriend got home from being in the woods, I lost my virginity.... Im not saying that everyone should go do "it" because I'm not saying that, however, I don't regret what I did... Not for a millisecond.... I'm happy with my choice and would not turn back the hands of time.... No sir-e-bob!!!! I'm just trying to say that I would not change it for anything in the world!!!! But I am saying that you should save yourself for the man that loves God then You!!!
Friday, April 20, 2012
We All Have A Story To Tell
I have always been a big believer in love and happiness... But on the contrary, I never believed I would ever be in love or happy.... I let other peoples problems and situations scare me away from finding true love and happiness.... I dated guys who I knew would never match up to me so that way it would end.... I looked for things about them that would permit me to dump them because it was a bad habit or just plainly annoying.... I didn't realize I was doing this until now....
But on a Nice warm August day (7-7-11), that all changed.... I met a deceiver... He made me feel like I was the only one...
Now, dont get me wrong... I wasnt always depressed and dark but I was close to it... He just made me believe in true love.... I fell more and more in love with him each day. I know God is supposed to be my first love and he is but in person to person meaning he was my one and only... I know, I know, I'm making it sound like we are a fairytale couple, which we are not. We were making our own "fairytale". However, we are like every other couple who has their disagreement and fights but what is love without a little war?
Right now he was gone miles away for work but I feel like our bond is growing stronger. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder... You might think I'm crazy for saying this but Mike was my life... What I mean by that is that I couldnt see my future with anyone before and now I cant see my future without him.... We have both agreed on forever, which if you knew me a year ago, I would Never agree to it. But like I say, love makes you do crazy things...
I know I seem so confident in all this but dont get me wrong, I am scared to death. This is a new territory for me, I have never been in love before. (Except for God) I have never put my faith in anyone other than God. So taking this step of faith with Mike was new and exciting and scary all at the same time... But Im glad I took that new step in life with him. And I am really glad and relieved that he can deal with my crazy self.
Let me render a little thought, its just an itty bitty thing on my mind.... About a boy and a girl trying to take on the world, one kiss at a time. Now the funny thing about it is that the story is mine and I hope i can say that it ends up just fine. We all want to know how it ends. Happily ever after is how i would like it to end, and so far it appears that way. Im not saying its was going to be cinderella perfect but it will be alley and mike perfect... We are just a boy and a girl who want to take on the world and we want to get caught happy and in love... We were giving it a shot and taking a big leap of idk what what to call it... And I see it going good!!!
We have a story to tell.... Wether we want to or not, of love and all its glory. Not one person is excluded, we ALL have a story to tell... The only question people ask is "Do I end up happy?" People should ask what they can do to improve their happiness.... Life isnt about finding happiness, its about making the best of what you have and when it comes to love, he had helped me do that indeed...
In all of this, I can only hope that I have friends and family who were happy for mike and I and cheering us on. But that part of the story is yet to be played out... We shall see.... But on the other side of things, It doesnt matter if you agree with us and our love, this was how it was meant to play out. We were just attempting to head into our Happily Ever After....
But on a Nice warm August day (7-7-11), that all changed.... I met a deceiver... He made me feel like I was the only one...
Now, dont get me wrong... I wasnt always depressed and dark but I was close to it... He just made me believe in true love.... I fell more and more in love with him each day. I know God is supposed to be my first love and he is but in person to person meaning he was my one and only... I know, I know, I'm making it sound like we are a fairytale couple, which we are not. We were making our own "fairytale". However, we are like every other couple who has their disagreement and fights but what is love without a little war?
Right now he was gone miles away for work but I feel like our bond is growing stronger. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder... You might think I'm crazy for saying this but Mike was my life... What I mean by that is that I couldnt see my future with anyone before and now I cant see my future without him.... We have both agreed on forever, which if you knew me a year ago, I would Never agree to it. But like I say, love makes you do crazy things...
I know I seem so confident in all this but dont get me wrong, I am scared to death. This is a new territory for me, I have never been in love before. (Except for God) I have never put my faith in anyone other than God. So taking this step of faith with Mike was new and exciting and scary all at the same time... But Im glad I took that new step in life with him. And I am really glad and relieved that he can deal with my crazy self.
Let me render a little thought, its just an itty bitty thing on my mind.... About a boy and a girl trying to take on the world, one kiss at a time. Now the funny thing about it is that the story is mine and I hope i can say that it ends up just fine. We all want to know how it ends. Happily ever after is how i would like it to end, and so far it appears that way. Im not saying its was going to be cinderella perfect but it will be alley and mike perfect... We are just a boy and a girl who want to take on the world and we want to get caught happy and in love... We were giving it a shot and taking a big leap of idk what what to call it... And I see it going good!!!
We have a story to tell.... Wether we want to or not, of love and all its glory. Not one person is excluded, we ALL have a story to tell... The only question people ask is "Do I end up happy?" People should ask what they can do to improve their happiness.... Life isnt about finding happiness, its about making the best of what you have and when it comes to love, he had helped me do that indeed...
In all of this, I can only hope that I have friends and family who were happy for mike and I and cheering us on. But that part of the story is yet to be played out... We shall see.... But on the other side of things, It doesnt matter if you agree with us and our love, this was how it was meant to play out. We were just attempting to head into our Happily Ever After....
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Have Faith!!!!
Just when you feel all hope is lost and there is nothing else that can help you, God sends some sort of little blessing your way... Whether it be a friend, some food, a word of encouragement or even for some-money. God is there no matter how low you may feel.
I just want to say that alot has been going on in my life not just to me, but to alot of people I love. I just want to be their guiding light and encourage them that God is in control. We may want something done in our timing but we have to know and understand that God doesnt do what we want when we want but He is right on time!
I know my aunt and uncle have been going through it but God has had them every step of the way. When they least expect it, the Lords blessings will rain down like manna from heaven! I know my mom has been going through a battle of not only her physical well being, but of financial and spiritual battles too. She may be sad, but God has her too. God is not going to bring them so far to leave them now!
It may seem irrelevant but I have a little story to share, about me...... I can remember a time when I was younger when my family was not doing good financially. My parents were out of work and we barely had anything. We lived on beans, rice and some cheap hamburger meats that were questionable, lol. Although I did not know it at the time or have the understanding of it, God had my family. It took time and having been encouraged and had faith but my family has and never had gone without!
I just wrote all this to basically say. When in doubt, trust in God! He has your back even when you dont realize that he does. Be full of faith and joy, because when you least expect it God will move in your life and do things in your favor!!!
I just want to say that alot has been going on in my life not just to me, but to alot of people I love. I just want to be their guiding light and encourage them that God is in control. We may want something done in our timing but we have to know and understand that God doesnt do what we want when we want but He is right on time!
I know my aunt and uncle have been going through it but God has had them every step of the way. When they least expect it, the Lords blessings will rain down like manna from heaven! I know my mom has been going through a battle of not only her physical well being, but of financial and spiritual battles too. She may be sad, but God has her too. God is not going to bring them so far to leave them now!
It may seem irrelevant but I have a little story to share, about me...... I can remember a time when I was younger when my family was not doing good financially. My parents were out of work and we barely had anything. We lived on beans, rice and some cheap hamburger meats that were questionable, lol. Although I did not know it at the time or have the understanding of it, God had my family. It took time and having been encouraged and had faith but my family has and never had gone without!
I just wrote all this to basically say. When in doubt, trust in God! He has your back even when you dont realize that he does. Be full of faith and joy, because when you least expect it God will move in your life and do things in your favor!!!
Monday, November 28, 2011
By God
Yesterday at church it came to my attention that alot of statistics were against me.... I should have been rebellious to the point of turning to gangs, I should have been having sex and doing alot of bad things.... But by the Grace of God I am here and have not joined a gang, and have saved myself for marriage...
There have been alot of things that have gone on in my life that, yes I am not proud of but I realize that I had to go through it for a reason... It was a part of Gods plan for my life... I know that I have left alot of mystery to what I am writing but its only because I dont feel like my story is ready yet...
I am glad that God kept me even through the hardest of times and kept me from being another teenage statistic. If it had not been for God, where would I be??? I have thought about this quite a bit. I may have been in a gang hurting people and doing some very horrible things. I was a very intimidating (looking) person. One reason is because at the time of my early teen years, I was very big and very tall. (Now I must say i am a mere 5'3 and some girls that are much younger than me are taller and look older-LOL)
I could have been having sex with multiple people and possibly been having children left and right... One thing i was always told, even before going to church, was that I was to wait for marriage (one thing my mom instilled in me). But with all the temptations in life, I could have simply just had sex. BY God and by my own self, I have held on to my precious gift. One day I will find my God-send and that will be a special thing between us, but as of now my purity is in tact.
I wrote all of this which may seem pointless to some or confusing to others, just to say that had it not been for God and the many good people in my life encouraging me to do whats right. I am glad to be in Gods presence and to be another person who fought the stereo-type and statistics! One day I will write my life story but as of now, this is all I can share. But all in all, Thank You JESUS!!!!
There have been alot of things that have gone on in my life that, yes I am not proud of but I realize that I had to go through it for a reason... It was a part of Gods plan for my life... I know that I have left alot of mystery to what I am writing but its only because I dont feel like my story is ready yet...
I am glad that God kept me even through the hardest of times and kept me from being another teenage statistic. If it had not been for God, where would I be??? I have thought about this quite a bit. I may have been in a gang hurting people and doing some very horrible things. I was a very intimidating (looking) person. One reason is because at the time of my early teen years, I was very big and very tall. (Now I must say i am a mere 5'3 and some girls that are much younger than me are taller and look older-LOL)
I could have been having sex with multiple people and possibly been having children left and right... One thing i was always told, even before going to church, was that I was to wait for marriage (one thing my mom instilled in me). But with all the temptations in life, I could have simply just had sex. BY God and by my own self, I have held on to my precious gift. One day I will find my God-send and that will be a special thing between us, but as of now my purity is in tact.
I wrote all of this which may seem pointless to some or confusing to others, just to say that had it not been for God and the many good people in my life encouraging me to do whats right. I am glad to be in Gods presence and to be another person who fought the stereo-type and statistics! One day I will write my life story but as of now, this is all I can share. But all in all, Thank You JESUS!!!!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Just a little something that I wrote about my crush/guitar playing friend Armando Adames!!!❤
I thought I would write a little blog in the spirit of Thanksgiving, but as i sit here to type I dont have much in mind to write but of simple things I am thankful for. So it may look just like a list, it may turn into some big blog, I am not sure but we will just wait and see. So here I go....
I am thankful for my family! I know we may not be perfect but we have our moments of crazy random fun, our serious ones and yes even drama, but it wouldnt make us as strong as we are if we had not gone through it all.
I am thankful for my friends! I may not have an endless supply but the friends I do have mean so much to me!!! They have stuck with me through my good and bad times, there to encourage me and gave me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it!!! I love them all to death.
I am thankful for all the opportunities I have had in life! Whether it be a job or a learning experience, I am greatful. Any thing given in my life I have learned to be happy with and I am...
I am thankful for my freedom and liberty to do as I please!!! That includes me being able to freely love God and go to the best church ever! I can freely go out and have fun without having to worry about being attacked or bombed. Daily I pray for the people going through all of that in other countries.
I am thankful for life!!! There have probably been a bunch of times I should have died, many times I stupidly tried to take my own, but I am glad i am still here. Dealing with Diabetes and Depression have been a major struggle but I am getting through it day by day... I am glad that i have come this far in life, if I hadnt then I would have never had met some of my friends, met my boyfriend and had the life experiences that I have had. Life is but a vapor so I am choosing to live it to the fullest and be.......
Simply Just Me!!!!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
A little piece of Thanksgiving
I thought I would write a little blog in the spirit of Thanksgiving, but as i sit here to type I dont have much in mind to write but of simple things I am thankful for. So it may look just like a list, it may turn into some big blog, I am not sure but we will just wait and see. So here I go....
I am thankful for my family! I know we may not be perfect but we have our moments of crazy random fun, our serious ones and yes even drama, but it wouldnt make us as strong as we are if we had not gone through it all.
I am thankful for my friends! I may not have an endless supply but the friends I do have mean so much to me!!! They have stuck with me through my good and bad times, there to encourage me and gave me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it!!! I love them all to death.
I am thankful for all the opportunities I have had in life! Whether it be a job or a learning experience, I am greatful. Any thing given in my life I have learned to be happy with and I am...
I am thankful for my freedom and liberty to do as I please!!! That includes me being able to freely love God and go to the best church ever! I can freely go out and have fun without having to worry about being attacked or bombed. Daily I pray for the people going through all of that in other countries.
I am thankful for life!!! There have probably been a bunch of times I should have died, many times I stupidly tried to take my own, but I am glad i am still here. Dealing with Diabetes and Depression have been a major struggle but I am getting through it day by day... I am glad that i have come this far in life, if I hadnt then I would have never had met some of my friends, met my boyfriend and had the life experiences that I have had. Life is but a vapor so I am choosing to live it to the fullest and be.......
Simply Just Me!!!!
I am thankful for my family! I know we may not be perfect but we have our moments of crazy random fun, our serious ones and yes even drama, but it wouldnt make us as strong as we are if we had not gone through it all.
I am thankful for my friends! I may not have an endless supply but the friends I do have mean so much to me!!! They have stuck with me through my good and bad times, there to encourage me and gave me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it!!! I love them all to death.
I am thankful for all the opportunities I have had in life! Whether it be a job or a learning experience, I am greatful. Any thing given in my life I have learned to be happy with and I am...
I am thankful for my freedom and liberty to do as I please!!! That includes me being able to freely love God and go to the best church ever! I can freely go out and have fun without having to worry about being attacked or bombed. Daily I pray for the people going through all of that in other countries.
I am thankful for life!!! There have probably been a bunch of times I should have died, many times I stupidly tried to take my own, but I am glad i am still here. Dealing with Diabetes and Depression have been a major struggle but I am getting through it day by day... I am glad that i have come this far in life, if I hadnt then I would have never had met some of my friends, met my boyfriend and had the life experiences that I have had. Life is but a vapor so I am choosing to live it to the fullest and be.......
Simply Just Me!!!!
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