S'all good!!!

I feel like I was having a streak of bad luck this past few weeks but,I honestly have no idea why my brain is telling me that?!?! 🤷🏽‍♀😔 I don't know how my brain was lying to me 🤨! But at the end of the day, through everything I go through, I tell myself, S'all good!!! 👍🏽 😊 🥰 😋 💯

This week 🤫

I'm so nervous about what's coming this week!!! 😂 💯 🤫 I don't know how to act should I act normal and like I am not physically nervous about it when it's getting done??? 🙄 🤷🏽‍♀ Should I be scared when it's happening? I don't know!!! I don't even know if it's happening this weekend or not!!! He might have the kids this weekend too!!! So I'm not going to get my hopes up. 🥱 🙇🏽‍♀ 🤷🏽‍♀ 🥺 🙅🏽‍♀ 🤦🏽‍♀ I have a lot of emotions going through my mind right now and I don't know how to deal with them!!! 🤦🏽‍♀ 💯 I just know that I loved him first!!! 😂 😡 💯 So ex wife better not even try to get upset because I had him first,it's just I didn't want to have sex with him because I was still a virgin,and she already had a daughter. 😂 🙄 slut... But I'm not physically a virgin anymore😂 and I am up for trying things... and we are going to try to give it another go this time... See where things lead but not to marriage because I refuse to marry a man with kids already!!! 💯 

Super busy with this quarantine 😑 is there an ending in sight?

I have been trying to keep super busy and keep myself I guess you can say "entertained" with this quarantine and it sucks!!! 🙄 We had my oldest nephew for a while and it was good but, then he went back home and now he is coming back because I guess his parents don't really want to "deal" with him 🙄 😒. It's sad that you don't want your own flesh and blood to be around you!!! And you expect for your mom and sister to raise your children for you to be able to go out and be able to have fun🙄 !!! NOT ON MY WATCH HUNTY!!!! I WILL NOT HELP RAISE YOUR KIDS FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO GO OUT AND HAVE FUN WITH YOUR HUSBAND!!! I'M NOT THE ONE!!! 🖕. I'M trying to keep busy with my own life!!! And have fun in my own account!!! 😒🙄😋. Once this quarantine is done I'm going all out and getting ready to get beaty-fied!!! 😋. I deserve it because I have been doing nothing but cleaning up and doing laundry, throwing trashc!!! My mom and I are at each other's throats because of this quarantine. It doesn't help when I'm hormonal. 🙄 I just sit and think 💭 when is this "pandemic" going to be over? I just wish it would end already!!! 😣

Going to therapy?!?!?!

I am going to therapy Thursday and I don't know how it is going to go , I am so nervous to see how her reaction is going to be with seeing me again after all this time!!! I don't know what to do with myself! I can't wait to update her on all that has happened since the last time I had seen her! My dad passed away and then I got a boyfriend,as I was dating my said boyfriend I was losing weight and then we broke up because I thought I was pregnant so in able to not get hurt bad, I broke up with him first, but in the end I ended up getting hurt more worst because I figured we were soulmates and I can't live without him and while we were dating I ordered him a beanie and a necklace that mentioned something about soulmates and I turned into a downward spiral and started to think about self harm and after I got over that I started eating my feelings. I don't know what to tell her to help my situation! I can't go to sleep and wake up skinny overnight! I wish it were that easy but it's not!!!

Tired and have a headache 😣😴💤😣! I feel like I'm not going to make it! I might die 💀!

I haven't been feeling very well this week so I think I am going to die soon. I'm afraid to tell my mom. I don't know what her reaction is going to be so I don't say anything. I don't want to scare her because she has already lost my dad. I just feel so bad 😭. If I die, she will be forced to live with my sister and be a live in babysitter and I won't stand for that!!! That's not fair to Mom 😒 it's ridiculous!!! I don't want to die, I don't want to keep having headaches and feeling tired. I want to feel healthy and energetic! I want to be skinny!

Annoyed

My mother is back to her old habit AGAIN,HOARDING!!! And I just can't seem to have her break this old habit, it scares me and annoys me at the same time, I don't know how to shake her out of it! The last person to shake her out of it was my Dad (may he rest in peace) and I don't think I am strong minded like him to do it! Lord help me not to go crazy with being annoyed with my mother about her Hoarding and bless me with the wisdom to understand why she feels the need to hoard. In your mighty NAME 😇 🙌 🙏! AND being a MEAN PERSON I never thought that she would be like this to ME!!! I'm her oldest daughter, I didn't get married the first chance I had to a guy I barely knew from Facebook! I'm looking for my man of God😇 🙌!!! Unlike my sister, she just seen an opportunity to get out of the house and took it... But why punish me for my sisters choice? That's why I'm ANNOYED!!!

So mad!!!

Ok, so I was browsing through Facebook and I happen to come across my "cousins" picture of her and her baby son and I simply commented that he looked like his father if I had seen his father's hair, well she comes back at me with a snarky comment about look who's talking" and I didn't mean anything rude by my comment but, then the next thing I know is her mom is chiming in being really rude and mean to me threatening me, telling me that no wonder why my Ex Juan's family wants to kick my ass, and numerous other things. Well my "cousin" Tianna called me and told me that her mom is no longer welcome at her house. Well she had been lying to her side of the family the entire time about Tianna and her husband claiming that they didn't have many groceries in the house or they didn't have electricity which from my understanding, they did and her husband would buy food and eat food bring it home and eat it in front of the kids. I don't believe Z is that type of a father who would do that to his kids. But I know my cousin Tianna I love her and I forgive her for what she said to me on Facebook but I seen pictures in Instagram of her hanging out with her mom when she claims she doesn't want anything to do with her. She is lying to me!!! I can't believe it!!! My mom warned me about her, she is just like her mom! Lying, coniving, and deceitful. I am just surprised.