It's not even that hard!!!

It's not even that hard to realize people that I am a grown woman and I do have needs!!! I have wants and desires that every other person does,I am human!!! Hello!!!? I have sexual wants and desires,needs if you will, but nobody let's me act out on them because they are afraid I might get shot or stabbed if I go out after dark! 🙄🤦🏽‍♀ Oh brother! I'm 33 years old people,if it wasn't for the stroke,I would have my own place by now and probably have a husband if I wasn't so picky about the men I date or have sex with... I do have a preference to be honest and I am not going to lie!!! 😂💯😏 To pass the time while inside,I read erotic tales of love and different things like that, pining for the day I can find my day and own release for that euphoric chapter of my life. I hope and pray for the day I have my happy ending with my handsome man in a Suit! Or Scrubs. Erotic tales of pleasure! That's my bliss!!! 😈💦💯

S'all good!!!

I feel like I was having a streak of bad luck this past few weeks but,I honestly have no idea why my brain is telling me that?!?! 🤷🏽‍♀😔 I don't know how my brain was lying to me 🤨! But at the end of the day, through everything I go through, I tell myself, S'all good!!! 👍🏽 😊 🥰 😋 💯

This week 🤫

I'm so nervous about what's coming this week!!! 😂 💯 🤫 I don't know how to act should I act normal and like I am not physically nervous about it when it's getting done??? 🙄 🤷🏽‍♀ Should I be scared when it's happening? I don't know!!! I don't even know if it's happening this weekend or not!!! He might have the kids this weekend too!!! So I'm not going to get my hopes up. 🥱 🙇🏽‍♀ 🤷🏽‍♀ 🥺 🙅🏽‍♀ 🤦🏽‍♀ I have a lot of emotions going through my mind right now and I don't know how to deal with them!!! 🤦🏽‍♀ 💯 I just know that I loved him first!!! 😂 😡 💯 So ex wife better not even try to get upset because I had him first,it's just I didn't want to have sex with him because I was still a virgin,and she already had a daughter. 😂 🙄 slut... But I'm not physically a virgin anymore😂 and I am up for trying things... and we are going to try to give it another go this time... See where things lead but not to marriage because I refuse to marry a man with kids already!!! 💯 

Super busy with this quarantine 😑 is there an ending in sight?

I have been trying to keep super busy and keep myself I guess you can say "entertained" with this quarantine and it sucks!!! 🙄 We had my oldest nephew for a while and it was good but, then he went back home and now he is coming back because I guess his parents don't really want to "deal" with him 🙄 😒. It's sad that you don't want your own flesh and blood to be around you!!! And you expect for your mom and sister to raise your children for you to be able to go out and be able to have fun🙄 !!! NOT ON MY WATCH HUNTY!!!! I WILL NOT HELP RAISE YOUR KIDS FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO GO OUT AND HAVE FUN WITH YOUR HUSBAND!!! I'M NOT THE ONE!!! 🖕. I'M trying to keep busy with my own life!!! And have fun in my own account!!! 😒🙄😋. Once this quarantine is done I'm going all out and getting ready to get beaty-fied!!! 😋. I deserve it because I have been doing nothing but cleaning up and doing laundry, throwing trashc!!! My mom and I are at each other's throats because of this quarantine. It doesn't help when I'm hormonal. 🙄 I just sit and think 💭 when is this "pandemic" going to be over? I just wish it would end already!!! 😣

Going to therapy?!?!?!

I am going to therapy Thursday and I don't know how it is going to go , I am so nervous to see how her reaction is going to be with seeing me again after all this time!!! I don't know what to do with myself! I can't wait to update her on all that has happened since the last time I had seen her! My dad passed away and then I got a boyfriend,as I was dating my said boyfriend I was losing weight and then we broke up because I thought I was pregnant so in able to not get hurt bad, I broke up with him first, but in the end I ended up getting hurt more worst because I figured we were soulmates and I can't live without him and while we were dating I ordered him a beanie and a necklace that mentioned something about soulmates and I turned into a downward spiral and started to think about self harm and after I got over that I started eating my feelings. I don't know what to tell her to help my situation! I can't go to sleep and wake up skinny overnight! I wish it were that easy but it's not!!!

Tired and have a headache 😣😴💤😣! I feel like I'm not going to make it! I might die 💀!

I haven't been feeling very well this week so I think I am going to die soon. I'm afraid to tell my mom. I don't know what her reaction is going to be so I don't say anything. I don't want to scare her because she has already lost my dad. I just feel so bad 😭. If I die, she will be forced to live with my sister and be a live in babysitter and I won't stand for that!!! That's not fair to Mom 😒 it's ridiculous!!! I don't want to die, I don't want to keep having headaches and feeling tired. I want to feel healthy and energetic! I want to be skinny!

Annoyed

My mother is back to her old habit AGAIN,HOARDING!!! And I just can't seem to have her break this old habit, it scares me and annoys me at the same time, I don't know how to shake her out of it! The last person to shake her out of it was my Dad (may he rest in peace) and I don't think I am strong minded like him to do it! Lord help me not to go crazy with being annoyed with my mother about her Hoarding and bless me with the wisdom to understand why she feels the need to hoard. In your mighty NAME 😇 🙌 🙏! AND being a MEAN PERSON I never thought that she would be like this to ME!!! I'm her oldest daughter, I didn't get married the first chance I had to a guy I barely knew from Facebook! I'm looking for my man of God😇 🙌!!! Unlike my sister, she just seen an opportunity to get out of the house and took it... But why punish me for my sisters choice? That's why I'm ANNOYED!!!